I am concerned about airport security in the U.S. Yes, you heard me right, I don’t think it’s nearly thorough enough and I feel unsafe. I’d like someone to explain to me how I was able to pass through, unnoticed, with my lightsaber (pictured above) and bring it onto a flight in my hand luggage from San Francisco to Washington D.C (like the capital or something)?

Sure – there were security checks – but the officers seemed more concerned with smelling my shoes and squeezing the life out of my brand-new tube of toothpaste than the stench of the dangerous weapon of mass destruction in my suitcase. I find this utterly unacceptable when the terror alert level is at Orange!

This is also worrying on many other levels. Firstly, has security not been trained to identify a real-McCoy lightsaber or ask whether I am trained in the skills of the Jedi? Placed in the wrong hands (i.e terrorist = not me), a lighsaber has the potential to become a weapon capable of unthinkable carnage. If you don’t believe me, ask Darth Vader, he had his hand cut off by one of the buggers!!!

Secondly, why is it necessary to humiliate passengers by strictly enforcing the use of plastic cutlery on flights when all a terrorist would need to do it smuggle a lightsaber through a security check point whilst they continue to concern themselves with the anal probe they’re conducting instead of worrying about who’s packing “real” heat?

I sincerely hope that the concern I have just raised will not be construed as a hoax or a “funny, funny”. We need to start getting intelligent about security in the 21st Century and realise that the next catastrophe is only one flick of a pure energy beam away!

On a less serious note, read Schnitz’s account of our trip to Washington so far!

View my Washington D.C Photo Set